When You Stop Avoiding, You Start Living

Our lives have quietly become a collection of unhelpful behaviours.

Not because we’re broken or lazy, but because we’re trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.

The achiever part, the people pleaser, the perfectionist, the one that won’t let you rest… behind all of these positive-intentioned parts is an uncomfortable feeling we don’t want to face.

If we rest, we might feel guilt or shame for being lazy - so we keep pushing, and end up burnt out and exhausted.

If we keep achieving, we never have to feel not-good-enough.

If we keep everything perfect, we don’t have to feel judged.

It’s ironic really.

We use these behaviours to avoid discomfort, yet they end up creating it.

I had a few conversations recently about a post I put up in my private Facebook group which asked the question…

“Have you ever had the feeling that this can’t be all life is about?”

When we’re avoiding our emotions, when we’re not living fully, it can feel like we’re on autopilot - repeating the same unhelpful patterns again and again.

And when we’re stuck there, we don’t get the learnings, the growth, or the freedom that comes from actually feeling our emotions and hearing what they’re trying to tell us.

The other part of the post that appears to have landed with quite a few people is where I said that there’s nothing outside of you that will make you feel better or give you the clarity you’re looking for.

That clarity only comes when you turn inward.

When we reconnect with our emotions, our parts, our Self - we start living a far more colourful and full life.

We stop outsourcing our peace and start working with what’s happening inside us.

As I’ve said many times before, emotions are messengers.

They’re simply here to tell us something.

Anxiety might be saying, “You’re in danger.”

And yet most of the time, we’re completely safe, it’s just a story or thought that made us feel unsafe.

When we stop jumping straight into distraction or overdoing, and instead turn towards the emotion, we get to listen to what it’s trying to say.

We acknowledge it.

Accept it.

Allow it.

That doesn’t mean we have to like it, it just means we make friends with reality.

The emotion is here. Let it be here.

And when we can sit with the discomfort and feel it in our body, we no longer need to run from it.

That’s when the unhelpful, exhausting behaviours start to ease, and the fullness of life begins to return.

Hardly anyone is ever taught how to do this - how to turn towards their emotions and listen.

And when they learn how, the shifts are huge.

A gentle invitation to explore…

Start by noticing.

Awareness is where everything begins.

What emotions are coming up regularly for you?

What’s your current response when that emotion shows up?

What could happen if you didn’t feel scared, worried or unsafe about that emotion?

When you start doing this, it can feel like a lot. It’s easy to forget curiosity and slip back into old habits.

So, to help you get started and develop a super helpful new habit, I’ve created The Feeling Revolution.

This is your entry point to understand your emotions, your parts, you and so much more deeply.

This is a game changer.

You can find out more about it here.