The Path to More Happiness

This past weekend, we went along to a Buddhist temple out of curiosity.

The thing that stayed with me the most, despite it already being something I believe was when the monk giving the teaching said:

“Everyone wants to be happy, and the meaning of happiness is a peaceful mind.

If your mind is peaceful, you are happy.”

He went on to say…”be curious and notice when your mind isn’t peaceful, and what disturbs it”.

It’s something I kept coming back to all day.

Happiness is one of those words that means something different to each of us.

It’s a question I often ask clients because most people tell me they just want to be happier, and yet when I ask what happiness means to them, they often pause.

If we don’t know what happiness means to us, how do we create more of it?

I loved the monk’s definition: a peaceful mind.

And whether or not that’s your definition too, I’m sure you’ll agree that a peaceful mind contributes to happiness.

So what disturbs your peace of mind?

Sometimes it feels easier to answer what doesn’t!

We live in a world where we’re constantly switched on - notifications, alerts, noise.

But the disturbances that seem to affect us most deeply are usually internal:

When something doesn’t go the way we wanted it to.

When a challenging emotion shows up that we’d rather avoid.

When we worry.

Try to control.

Or get caught up in what others think of us.

It can feel like there’s nothing we can do about it.

Like that’s just life.

And yet…what if that’s not true?

What if, instead of simply accepting the noise, we became curious about what disturbs our peace?

What if we learnt to listen to our emotions, rather than fight them?

To get to know the part of us that worries, or that needs control, or that can’t stand uncertainty?

I know it’s not true, it’s not just life….and it’s not something we have to put up with.

Every disturbance of our peace is an invitation.

As we say in Internal Family Systems, a trigger is a trailhead - and this is exactly the same.

Anything that disturbs our peace is pointing us in the direction of more peace and freedom, if we’re willing to get curious.

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A gentle invitation to explore

Over the next few days, notice what stops your mind from being peaceful.

No judgement, just notice.

When something disturbs your peace, pause.

Take a slow breath.

See if you can name what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Is it fear? Disappointment? Needing to be right? Wanting to be liked?

And then, instead of trying to change it straight away, simply get curious.

That gentle curiosity is often the doorway back to peace.

If you need any support to chat through what comes up or if you need some help to work with what comes up, you’re welcome to book a FREE chat with me here