This past Saturday, I had the opportunity to see Gabor Maté speak, and one of his insights deeply resonated with me:
"The task of transformation is simply getting back to ourselves."
It made me reflect on how we often think about "change" in personal development. The word itself can feel like we need to become something else—stronger, more confident, more resilient. But what if real transformation isn’t about adding anything at all? What if, instead, it’s about shedding?
Shedding What No Longer Serves Us
Transformation isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about uncovering who we’ve always been underneath it all. That means letting go of:
• The conditioning that told us we weren’t enough.
• The stories that kept us small.
• The survival strategies that once protected us but now hold us back.
When we release these layers, we don’t lose ourselves—we return to ourselves. But this process takes courage. The courage to be your authentic self, even when it feels vulnerable, even when the world has conditioned you to be otherwise.
Beyond the Conscious Mind: Doing the Inner Work
This kind of transformation isn’t just about thinking differently. It’s not something we can achieve by logic or willpower alone. Real personal development has to include inner work—not just operating from the conscious mind, but turning inward and going deeper.
It means meeting the parts of ourselves that carry pain, fear, and old beliefs. Instead of suppressing them, we learn to integrate them. Instead of overriding them, we listen to them. Only then can we truly return to ourselves.
Where Real Freedom Begins
The more I do this work—whether with individuals, leaders, or teams—the clearer it becomes: when we stop trying to change ourselves and instead meet ourselves, that’s where real freedom begins.
So, I invite you to reflect: What might you need to shed in order to return to yourself? What would it feel like to meet yourself rather than try to change yourself?
I’d love to hear what comes up for you.
