Do we really need to wait for a wake-up call?

I listened to a conversation recently that felt incredibly aligned with the work I do.

Kirsty Gallagher was speaking with Dr Rangan Chatterjee on the Feel Better, Live More podcast, and they touched on something I’ve been pondering for some time.

How it often takes something big, sometimes painful, for us to finally pause and look at how we’re really living.

Why is that?

Why does it often take something awful to happen before we’re willing to actually stop, look at our life and say, “This isn’t the life I want”?

In so many of the conversations I have — with clients, friends, in general conversations — there’s often this sense of this isn’t quite it. Not in a loud or dramatic way, but more of a subtle feeling underneath. That life doesn’t feel how they’d hoped it would. That something is missing, even if they can’t quite name it.

And when they try to figure out what they do want, it can feel overwhelming. Just like I wrote about in my last blog post (you can read it here), when you don’t have clarity, it often feels easier to keep doing what you’ve always done. Even if it’s not working. Familiar can feel safer than facing the unknown.

But I know that it’s not safer. And it definitely isn’t more fulfilling.

I think a lot of this comes down to fear. Fear of failing. Fear of being disappointed. Fear of being seen for who we really are, especially if we’ve spent a long time performing who we think we should be. There’s even a fear of wanting something deeply, because what if we don’t get it?

And so we stay feeling stuck.

We all have parts of us all have different ideas about what’s safe, or right, or possible.

There might be a part that says, “Just keep going, don’t mess this up.”

Another part might quietly whisper, “Surely there’s more to life than this.”

And maybe there’s one that’s exhausted from trying so hard to hold it all together.

None of these parts are wrong. They’re doing what they’ve always done to try and keep us safe, and they’re usually working from old information. When we only listen to those voices, or when they’re the ones leading the show, we end up disconnected from what we actually want. From who we actually are.

What I’ve learned, both personally and through my work with clients, is that real change doesn’t come from pushing ourselves harder or trying to ‘fix ’ourselves. It comes from reconnecting. From turning inward, rather than constantly looking outward for answers. From creating space to hear the parts of us that are scared, and the parts that are ready, and the parts that quietly hold our deeper knowing.

Because when we start to hear and get to know those parts, something else becomes available too.

We reconnect with our Self.

Not the version of us shaped by expectations or pressure, but the steady, compassionate core that’s always been there underneath it all.

The part of us that holds calm, curiosity, confidence, clarity…even when things feel uncertain.

From that place, change becomes possible.

Not because we’ve figured everything out, but because we’re not doing it alone.

We’re doing it from a deeper sense of knowing. Of trust. Of choice.

So….

Why are we waiting for something terrible to happen before we stop and take stock?

Why are we willing to live in a way that doesn’t feel good, as long as it’s not quite bad enough to force a change?

We all know that life is short. We’ve all been reminded of it at one time or another. And so often, we slip back into a way of living that’s disconnected, from ourselves, from what we value, from what actually brings us joy or meaning or peace.

A little invitation to explore…

So if any of this resonates — if you recognise that sense of “something’s not quite right”, get curious…here’s some questions to get you started…

• What feels out of alignment right now?

• What do you keep thinking about or dreaming about that you haven’t acted on?

• What part of you might be trying to protect you from disappointment?

• And what could become possible if you didn’t need to have it all figured out, but just took one small step?

You don’t need to wait for a crisis to make a change.

You don’t need to be certain or fearless or fully ready.

You just need to start listening, and be willing to respond.

If you’d like some support on your journey, you’re welcome to book a free chat with me here.